Murphy Swoops In!
Ever have one of those days where Murphy is perched on your shoulder from the moment you wake up? You know what I mean. You get up, you have to run for the bathroom like a horse that came in last, you can't find the Tea you like , or you run out? The phone rings too early( never call anyone without written permission in blood before 9am!) and you can't assimilate if the caller is a real call, or some stupid telamarketer that you can ignore? So you hang up and your best friend calls back to tell you what a jerk you are?
You stub your toe on the end of the bed, cuss like a Cat that just had braces put on? You find your favorite slippers in the dogs bowl( you don't even want to know how that happened!)
You go to get a drink of water and spill it down your front? You step outside and your newly erected, super whiz bang, cost a small fortune, and no you didn't keep the receipt!, gazeebo is smooshed like a peice of gum under a shoe made of concrete, on a hot day in July in the Desert?
I hate freak snow storms that come on like innocent rain, and turn into the blizzard that ate Gazeebo land! WTF! Lets not even have any comments about how I should have removed the snow load, and none of this would have happened! According to Murphy's Law, had I done that, my house would have caved in from the weight of Godzilla sitting on it. Or some crap like that.
Mom fell down today. She went to take out the Garbage and Wham! Fell right on her bee-hind! She is okay. But it made my heart do laps around the block in a screaming, cracked kind of way for about a half hour. There is no chocalate in this house. So I couldn't even eat my way to a better day. I hate that. I had four hundred and thirty two million phone calls to make, and no tea! Some of you understand.
I made resevations for a hotel for our trip, and this pimply faced sorry excuse for a desk clerk answered the phone. In his valley-boy way he answered the phone, " Like, Hello. This is Dude speaking. Can I like, help you?" I was tempted to say " For realsies?(Breathy laugh here!) Can you like get me a room with like, two beds and a barf bag so when I hang up the phone, I can feel better about having had to deal with your ingnorance!? But I didn't. Instead, I did his job for him. I asked all the right qeustions( and was put on hold, on a long distance call! for about 10 min. I love that.) and managed by sheer force of knowing what the #%&*!! I was doing to aquire a room for the night. Then I had to ask him if he needed a credit card to hold the resevation! I get so sick and tired of doing other people's jobs for them. Like Totally! I should be paid for that. He probably makes like 6.50 an hour, and judging by my encounter he is only worth about 2 cents a day. So I would at least have enough money to go buy chocalate on him for the stress of the experience.
So then I made dinner. I did not burn down the house. I did not spill anything. I did not even turn on the burner or the oven! So, we had McDonalds. Get of Me! Its been a bad day. Plus, the dogs got excited and puked on the carpet in front of my bed. Since I never did figure out where my other slipper's are; yep! I stepped in it! They are fine. I washed my foot. I beat the crap out of Murphy in the form of a pillow, and called it quits for the day.
I wisely left the Wagon in the barn and myslef in the house, for the remainder of this day! Tune in later for how the next one goes. Don't, for goodness sake!, hold your breath.
You stub your toe on the end of the bed, cuss like a Cat that just had braces put on? You find your favorite slippers in the dogs bowl( you don't even want to know how that happened!)
You go to get a drink of water and spill it down your front? You step outside and your newly erected, super whiz bang, cost a small fortune, and no you didn't keep the receipt!, gazeebo is smooshed like a peice of gum under a shoe made of concrete, on a hot day in July in the Desert?
I hate freak snow storms that come on like innocent rain, and turn into the blizzard that ate Gazeebo land! WTF! Lets not even have any comments about how I should have removed the snow load, and none of this would have happened! According to Murphy's Law, had I done that, my house would have caved in from the weight of Godzilla sitting on it. Or some crap like that.
Mom fell down today. She went to take out the Garbage and Wham! Fell right on her bee-hind! She is okay. But it made my heart do laps around the block in a screaming, cracked kind of way for about a half hour. There is no chocalate in this house. So I couldn't even eat my way to a better day. I hate that. I had four hundred and thirty two million phone calls to make, and no tea! Some of you understand.
I made resevations for a hotel for our trip, and this pimply faced sorry excuse for a desk clerk answered the phone. In his valley-boy way he answered the phone, " Like, Hello. This is Dude speaking. Can I like, help you?" I was tempted to say " For realsies?(Breathy laugh here!) Can you like get me a room with like, two beds and a barf bag so when I hang up the phone, I can feel better about having had to deal with your ingnorance!? But I didn't. Instead, I did his job for him. I asked all the right qeustions( and was put on hold, on a long distance call! for about 10 min. I love that.) and managed by sheer force of knowing what the #%&*!! I was doing to aquire a room for the night. Then I had to ask him if he needed a credit card to hold the resevation! I get so sick and tired of doing other people's jobs for them. Like Totally! I should be paid for that. He probably makes like 6.50 an hour, and judging by my encounter he is only worth about 2 cents a day. So I would at least have enough money to go buy chocalate on him for the stress of the experience.
So then I made dinner. I did not burn down the house. I did not spill anything. I did not even turn on the burner or the oven! So, we had McDonalds. Get of Me! Its been a bad day. Plus, the dogs got excited and puked on the carpet in front of my bed. Since I never did figure out where my other slipper's are; yep! I stepped in it! They are fine. I washed my foot. I beat the crap out of Murphy in the form of a pillow, and called it quits for the day.
I wisely left the Wagon in the barn and myslef in the house, for the remainder of this day! Tune in later for how the next one goes. Don't, for goodness sake!, hold your breath.
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