Coffee Calamity


Recently,Queenie deserted the mules and the Hubby,and ran like hell. I didn't leave permanently, but jest long enough to meet up with my brother, ogle some other faces in the city, and pretty much run amok for two whole days! Fabulous!

My brother and I were rolling(innocently) through unknown parts of the City on a gorgeous Sunday morning,in search of a bar-be-que, and some coffee for Kreig. I wanted him to get some ASAP, as his constant moodiness was gettin' on my last nerve, much like me not having my chocolate fix.

So we hooked a left, maimed the minimal amount of people possible, bounced our heads off the cab of the wagon, and screeched into the parking lot. Immediately, our caffeine droopin' eyes beheld the sight of 6 Po-po cars and two Fire Engines! Who squealed I was in town?! Dammit!

I casually slumped down in the seat, my heart beatin' like a butterfly trapped in a mason jar, and Bro hit the brakes so hard my uterus squished together and deflated!

But, as usual, I digress. So there we were in an almost deserted strip mall that had a coffee shop( it wasn't Starbucks) and somehow, we hadn't called attention to ourselves( Right?!)

Kreig ran into the coffee shop, I stayed with the rig in hopes I could talk the Po-po's out of any real interest in us, and then it happened!!! 10 male cops in uniform came charging out of the coffee shop, prancing like toddlers in tutu's, headed for me! They each had coffee clutched in their hands, and it was obvious they were on a mission.

NOT TO SPILL THEIR COFFEE!

I kid you not, these ten men ran like busty blonde's in hooker heels with achin' arches! What the Fuck--Over?! Thankfully, they sprinted past me. I was hunkered down next to our rig, trying to hide next to its bright ass blue paint, while wearin' enough pink to be mistaken' for a piggy bank! Yeah, I was covert. GET OFF ME!

Anyway, the fire trucks start up, the horns start blarin' and two by two, these girly-men scramble into their vehicles all the while cradlin' their coffee's like a mother and her babe!

I stopped tryin' to hide, leapt up and scouted the store front for my brother, and held onto my stomach as hysterical mirth exploded out of my mouth like foam from a rabid dog.

I can't prove this story is true, cause I was the only friggin' person in the parking lot as this went down, no really...I was.
You will just have to take what I say as truth. Who makes this shit up anyway?!

I text'ed the hubby, spilled the story to Kreig, and sanely suggested we get the hell out of that part of town before we had some 'splainin' to do! We drove his mules like rats on speed and have made a pact to never return.

Queenie. Witness Protection Member.

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