Conversations In Iraq
Ok. I am going to explain what the usual and customary course of conversation with my Husband in Iraq consists of....for anyone who cares to know!
Around 10 am the phone rings..not like it rings when just anyone calls, more like a Drill Instructor telling a newbie recruit to get with the program. I have no idea why this is how it goes, but i am sure some of you can figure out why this seems to make sense.
I jump up, stop whatever I happen to be in the middle of, and usually try not to maim the Dogs, Mom, or more often, myself, in the mad and comic scramble to reach the phone. Which, by the way, is usually 9 million three hundred and 42 feet from wherever I happen to be when the summons comes in...Why is that?!
Finally reaching the phone, clicking it on, and saying " hello!" with a snappy "Yes Sir" in my voice, I get the gentle tones of the love of my life....."Hi! Sunshine! Ahh....Payoff.
From there it goes downhill rather quickly! I get the update on how many hours of work has been accomplished through sheer force of will, what they are currently working on...and the freaking weather report! Did you know its hot there? I personally had not the slightest inkling....and apparently if it is not hot, which is almost unheard of..then it is raining like the Ark needs to be rebuilt, or at the very least, rowed into port and rendered sea worthy once more!
From there, I get to be regaled about what He left behind that He now needs urgently in order to make it through the next 72 hours. Apparently, you can survive all the way to Kuwait without these items, but once in the true "land of sand" M&M's become more precious than any ancient coin or Silver Box ever dreamed of being! Go figure!
The last few seconds of the conversation are rounded out with the duty of asking how I am doing....not because he doesn't care, but because if he forgets to ask, he may never see those M&M's! Ahh...True Love is Such Bliss.
Seriously. I am not making this up. By the time the conversation has ended, I know everything there is to know about what he is doing, and he is absolutely sure that I am still here in the U.S. and have not followed him to check up on him...or see if he has clean underwear..which for those of you on the edge of your seats....HE DOES!
And in the words of my friend Tim..."there you have it".
Here's to my Hubby...doing yeoman's work in the crappiest place on earth, with some of the Best and Bravest of us all, himself undeniably included! We all Love You Here at Home.
Around 10 am the phone rings..not like it rings when just anyone calls, more like a Drill Instructor telling a newbie recruit to get with the program. I have no idea why this is how it goes, but i am sure some of you can figure out why this seems to make sense.
I jump up, stop whatever I happen to be in the middle of, and usually try not to maim the Dogs, Mom, or more often, myself, in the mad and comic scramble to reach the phone. Which, by the way, is usually 9 million three hundred and 42 feet from wherever I happen to be when the summons comes in...Why is that?!
Finally reaching the phone, clicking it on, and saying " hello!" with a snappy "Yes Sir" in my voice, I get the gentle tones of the love of my life....."Hi! Sunshine! Ahh....Payoff.
From there it goes downhill rather quickly! I get the update on how many hours of work has been accomplished through sheer force of will, what they are currently working on...and the freaking weather report! Did you know its hot there? I personally had not the slightest inkling....and apparently if it is not hot, which is almost unheard of..then it is raining like the Ark needs to be rebuilt, or at the very least, rowed into port and rendered sea worthy once more!
From there, I get to be regaled about what He left behind that He now needs urgently in order to make it through the next 72 hours. Apparently, you can survive all the way to Kuwait without these items, but once in the true "land of sand" M&M's become more precious than any ancient coin or Silver Box ever dreamed of being! Go figure!
The last few seconds of the conversation are rounded out with the duty of asking how I am doing....not because he doesn't care, but because if he forgets to ask, he may never see those M&M's! Ahh...True Love is Such Bliss.
Seriously. I am not making this up. By the time the conversation has ended, I know everything there is to know about what he is doing, and he is absolutely sure that I am still here in the U.S. and have not followed him to check up on him...or see if he has clean underwear..which for those of you on the edge of your seats....HE DOES!
And in the words of my friend Tim..."there you have it".
Here's to my Hubby...doing yeoman's work in the crappiest place on earth, with some of the Best and Bravest of us all, himself undeniably included! We all Love You Here at Home.
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