GET OFF ME

There is a song out, called " As good Once As I Ever Was" Its by Toby Keith. Its a good song, but it doesn't even come close to my life. I was never good once, so how I ask, can I be as good once as I ever was, if I never was good once? Confused? Me too. I am a sassy, mouthy( and yes, it gets me into trouble occasionally) Woman, that just dosen't give a shit what ppl think in the first place, so I have this tendency to say what I think, when I think it. Get Off Me, being a case in point. I have really low blood pressure because of this, so I am healthy due to this fact of my nature. I married a man 25 years and one Month my senior. Some of you out ther wonder why, and some of you are wemon, and you have met my husband, and you don't have to wonder, you know. Now, if you are reading this drivel on a regular basis( you know you are, how could you get by with out your Queenie fix!) then you know that I recently turned thirty. Therefore, if you are not a prodigy...

Camping is one of the things you do for your peice of mind. It allows you to commune with nature, live a simpler life, if even for a few days, and still bring all the "can't live without items" with you. Queenie loaded up the wagon with enough items to see her thru a month of camping, made sure all the bases were covered for the next three days, grabbed several friends, and rolled out at the crack of early into the great open spaces. What the hell was I thinking?! The wagon rolled down the path without any problems. Lucy was given drugs to ensure that no retching occurred while traveling, and plenty of rations were around for the two hour trip to the camp site. We had the wheeler, and the Camper and plenty of back-up. We did not pay close enough attention to the forecast. LOL The first sign of trouble occurred just 2 miles from the site. Lucy puked. Poor dog. She was doing so well, and then, fate intervened. Luckily, I had planned for just such a circumstance. Had towel...

Queenie is now the ripe age( No! I dont stink!) of thirty. Some of my friends and family are curious to know just how I survived this long....sheer will! I find some interesting things go along with the age. I am now considered an adult. Weather I like it or not, and weather I behave like one or not. Perception is the key. There is some kind of magic involved with this particular number when applied to a person. If you are twenty-nine, you are still irresponsible. IF you are thirty, you are taken seriously, how scary is that? I can't even take myself serious, and now there are other people in the world who will, no matter what. Just becasue I had "the birthday" I love my birthday. Its like a present to yourself. You wake up, and blam, you are another age. Its like taking a pill, and suffering the side effects for a year! Everything changes. Plus, its an excuse to make people buy you things out of guilt, and they acually ask you what you want. This was so much easier w...

Wagons are sometimes not worth the trouble. Take mine for instance. I picked up my plush ride about two years ago, finally upgrading! Good wheels, good horses, but not the most stylish ride for Queenie. Next came a jeep. I loved it with a sick passion that comes from finally getting into a ride that expresses my personality, and okay, it was cuter than a speckled pup under a red wagon. I had it for two years. It had a lift on it( which I enjoyed even if It could make winter driving a bit tricky!) and it was two toned in color, which added a certain flavor to the overall look and feel. Soon, it was obvious to me, mostly b/c of my Husbands constant reminders and harping, that I needed to upgrade once again to something a bit bigger, sturdier and with more room for our beloved crazy friends. They like to go places with us, and I wanted to take them, but the Jeep was a little cramped for more than 2 people. Not to mention, leg room was severely lacking. A bit like riding a tricycle ...

She talks. She uses the bathroom. She drinks tea. She likes coffee. She talks back. She has run the mules ragged, and they are on Strike. They refuse to be anywhere near her. She pouts. I plead. Steve chases her with a wild look in his eyes. We have tried water: hoses,spray bottles,taps,glasses, and even sprayers. NO DICE! We have tried yelling. loud,low,long,often,quiet,sincerely,insanely,shreikingly. NO DICE! We have pleaded,cajoled,questioned,argued,demonstrated,hollered, and ignored. NO DICE! For any one out there who ever said I should have kids...may a pox rain on your head! Quite Frankly, A Puppy is plenty!! Lucy is insane. She chases the cat, holds court with the Mules, stalks birds, eats everything she can( rocks, wood, rugs, grass, leaves, fur, cats, mice, hoot owls) and is not afraid of any thing on this earth, with the exception of two words.... " BAD LUCY!" But then she forgets whatever is was she did wrong, and here we go again...... Lucy(short for Lucifer! ...

Packed up the Wagon, lubed the wheels, and tore outta here for three days. Ended up going thru some remarkable country( the Big Horns) and some butt numbing country( rest of Wyoming to Colorado!) My Hubby and I went to pick up a Sex Locker(uh, Camper. Camper!) that we bought( on ebay...sorta) and it had the misfortune of being in Kansas! Crap! So off we went over the hill, tore thru grannys house, plauged the rest of Wyoming, and hit Denver traffic, smog, and crazies at about noon the first day. I spewed soda on the dash, rutted out in a few places, and flattened my butt more than I have in a long time on that buck board! I pulled out the splinters, shored up my ass, and pushed on toward Johnson City Kansas. I rode thru hills that looked like boobs, and wheat and corn fields that resembled, well, by this time, Queenie's Butt! All for a 17 foot gooseneck ( sex locker) so I could go camping without being the main course for misqutios! Well, ended up being worth it. I will neve...

Puppies are the greatest invention in the Universe. Until you have to take care of one... I picked up a pup for my Husband, something to lift his Soul, brighten his days, and generally keep him busy after his hectic stint in Iraq. I think he prefers Iraq at this juncture. LOL! Her name is Lucy Lou( He named her!) and she is gorgeous!! She is 7 weeks, and three days old. Which means she is still wearing diapers in human terms. Now if only I could get her to stand still long enough to strap one on her! She goes 4 million three hundred miles an hour and that is when she is tired! Who decided that puppies had to have qualities of terrible two year olds??!! She is an Austrailian Sheperd. And she is remarkable looking! She has a stripe( kind of like you would find on a skunk!) down her face, and lovley spots all over....think livered. She is very smart, and has more energy than any dog I have ever seen. I think Steve is exhausted just trying to keep up with her. The mules are dealing...