Biblical Camping

Camping is one of the things you do for your peice of mind. It allows you to commune with nature, live a simpler life, if even for a few days, and still bring all the "can't live without items" with you.

Queenie loaded up the wagon with enough items to see her thru a month of camping, made sure all the bases were covered for the next three days, grabbed several friends, and rolled out at the crack of early into the great open spaces.

What the hell was I thinking?!


The wagon rolled down the path without any problems. Lucy was given drugs to ensure that no retching occurred while traveling, and plenty of rations were around for the two hour trip to the camp site. We had the wheeler, and the Camper and plenty of back-up. We did not pay close enough attention to the forecast. LOL

The first sign of trouble occurred just 2 miles from the site. Lucy puked. Poor dog. She was doing so well, and then, fate intervened. Luckily, I had planned for just such a circumstance. Had towels handy.
After scraping off the ick, consoling the pup, and reassuring the Hubby that all was fine, and the vein in his forehead just didn't need to pop, we continued on.

Soon, it was beer thirty. So we indulged. Ahhh.....Lucy drank mine, and proptmly went to sleep. Ha, a sedative. Who knew?

We arrived to discover that for all of our careful planning, we had forgotten about the season of Bow- hunters. The camp site was packed!

We found a place with reasonable seclusion, and proceeded to set up. Got a huge white mans fire going, hacked down what was left of a fallen tree for fuel, and prepared a snack to tide over the busy workers. Tied up the pup, and kept a look out for critters other than the woofing kind.

As the first day of Camping began to fade, we started supper. Mmmmmm....Chicken noodle soup. Homemade. Cant beat anything cooked over open flame. We proceeded to imbibe in our beverage stash, some more than others....and as happens, we began to sing. I am sure we scared off every animal for at lest 100 miles! LOL. Some things should only be indulged in when out in the middle of nowhere. Ha!

The nite was cool, clear and had a gorgeous moon. We bayed, howled and made merry. It was not long before we discovered that we had no water in the camper( a fuse problem) and therefore, no heat, or lights. Crap. Who knew? Luckily, we had brought rations of water, and lanterns, and even flashlights. About 2am, it was bed time. We snuggled up to sleep,visions of four wheeling dancing in our heads, and nodded off.....

The earth shook. Hell, the camper shook. The Dog came unglued, and I shot up, banged my head on the ceiling, and said" Should we go home now?" Yep. It was thunder. Followed closely by lightening. It was raining. We went back to sleep. It was only 6am. It would pass.

I next awoke to the desperate tattoo of my bladder....get up, get up....and again, the whole camper shook. More thunder. More lightening. I went to the window, and saw.....It was snowing like dandruff flaking off God's Scalp! WAIT. It's thundering, lightening, and snowing? As my Friend so aptly put it..." isn't that Biblical or something?" We laughed. And then we left. No chances here. No heat, no water, no light, and no stuff for that long of a trip. Bye.


Queenie, her pup, her Hubby and friends wasted no time in high tailing it home. The dog did not puke( perhaps she sensed the importance of getting out without stopping) and 3 hours later, we arrived home, to just rain here in town, and a lot of food that was going to have to be cooked on the stove.Crap. Camping trips done for another year. Camper, needs work for next year.

Moral of the Story.

No matter how prepared you think you are, God and Mother Nature have other plans for you. Go with them. They know best.


So long.