FAT MATTERS!




Hello my Minions!

The weather is warm, the sun is shining, and I wouldn't put on a bathing suit, a pair of shorts, or even a tank top if my life depended on it. I have rolls that rival a Mountian range, and I am not okay with public displays of "gross mommy, look at that!" So here I am, safley covered, and fixin' to work out. Again.

I have discovered that I need lots of help. I have a theory about fat loss. Einstein proved that matter cannot be destroyed, and therefore, no matter how much you sweat your ass off, feel the freakin burn, or suck in that which was not there a few years ago, once it "leaves" your ass, it goes into the air. Open the back door, and it goes out onto the porch. Lying in wait. Spying on you...and since you have to leave the house at some point, due to lack of Chocolate rations, WHAM! There it is, it sees you and it suctions itself right back onto your ass. It's a disgusting fact. I Call this the "You are never going to have the Ass you Had at 12 theory, so get used to needing a sign that beeps and reads "Wide Load!"

However, there is another sinister aspect to this debacle. It's simply called, " Nobody wants to look at your ass, so keep trying to lose that 15 pounds". Damnit!

It's enough to make Queenie roll out the wagon, load up the mules and go homicidal on some poor stick that is invariably out waliking around with an Ass that looks remarkably like a 12 year olds. Even tho she is 25. I hate that. GET OFF ME!

Excuse me while I meditate. With Chocolate. Bite me.


I have returned. So in the interests of keeping sane, and finding the ass and gut that I used to take for granted, I am off to work out. In the relative safety of my living room, since I cannot leave the house due to recent sinister matter experiences.

Here I go, Amok, Amok, Amok!


Hang in there people. Summer is coming, and I am determined to be one of the sticks with curves. I may just say to hell with it, and stroll naked in the street with Chocolate smeared on my butt. It's a form of rebellion I have discussed with the team of psychiatrists I am stalking.LOL

Catch you on the Flip side. Hang onto your garters and keep yourselfs covered. I might!


Queenie. Chock Full of It!

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