How You Doin'?!


I hitched up the mules the other day, on a fine and sunny morn
and to town we rolled, giddy, amok and full of fun.

We hit our favorite coffee kiosk with the realization that if we didn't get some hot chai, and a few cookies, there would be massive run in's and snarlin' mules amok in the streets.

We pulled up, Lucy managed not to mangle our wagon in her excitement,the window opened, and there was the most excitin' thing they or I had seen in weeks...A MAN! Right there in the little hut of heavenly blends, liqueurs and spices was a dark haired person of the masculine persuasion. He was wearin' shorts ppl! and his legs were worth every short thread in them. Whoo Hoo!

Lucy began droolin' her undying love right then and there....her eyes got big as saucers, her tongue lolled out and groomed her face with all the feminine wiles she possessed(little slut!) and her teeth sparkled like diamonds in the sunlight. I swear she winked at him! Dammit Lucy!, control yerself, and get out of my way.....LOL GET OFF ME!

I batted my lashes, hid my braces, okay, I didn't, mostly cause there ain't no hidin' these pink stripped railroad tracks, but I gave it a shot, for sister's everywhere, and I hooted out to him,"A MAN!",jest like in Roger Rabbit when the poor detective goes to toon town and runs into that woman he thinks is Jessica Rabbit, and really its that freaky lookin' cartoon lady that would scare the warts off a hobbit, and she screeches the same thing,"A MAN!"...yeah, the guy got a little scared, but he manned up pretty well for his fist time meetin' Queenie and the Mules. Gotta give him props. Snark.

I gave him my order, and then proceeded to grill him about how it was he was doing a job that mostly women do in Whoville...seriously folks, we barely have male waiters, and forget male sales people. In this neck of the woods, if you have a penis, you work construction, guide hunters, weld( sorry Pete,Chuck) drive trucks, farm or work on cars...you know, traditionally "male" jobs. So I asked. I'm not shy...hello!

Course, Lucy nailed me in the boob, knocked me back in the seat and damn near landed in his arms in search of her cookie, and of course, male attention. She's like that.

Stickers shied away in the back seat, timid as ever, at least until the cookies were doled out, then she beat feet and plowed a foot into my uterus in an attempt to snag her cookie before Lucy could devour it. We got his schedule,I got my chai Egg Nog, we batted some more lashes at him, and careened outta there like Sailors on shore leave. Amok, amok, amok! Lord, it's great to be me.

Lucy cried the whole way home, and Stickers looked like she just met the divine leader of the Universe. They want to go back, but, I don't think he can take much more of us so soon. Best to ease him into dealin' with us. We don't want to scare him off jest yet. LOL!

So, now you know. Lucy is a slut, Queenie is a flirt, and Stickers needs to get with the program. That's all I got for now, people. Don't like it?, don't keep readin' it.


Next installment is the 400 pound woman driving the pinto held together with duck tape! ( I cannot make this shit up ppl)


Queenie. Swillin' Tea.

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