House Remodel Casued By Devil Dog...!
In the continuing saga of puppy ownership, reason number four hundred and two billion why NOT to allow them into the house has cropped up. They will break whatever they can.
To recap, I have had shoes, clothing,furniture,hats,makeup,wiring,plants and the occasional landscape edging eaten,chewed,ripped,destroyed,paraded in the yard,slobbered on, or at minimum, taken places they should never, ever go.
The newest result is a broken toilet.
One day, no problem:the next, not working! The culprit is of course....Lucy! We all know who did it long before its proven, but I like to delude myself into thinking that one of the "angel" dogs, have suddenly, in a total 180, decided to do something they have never even considered. And then I get off the Crack, and scream" Dammit Lucy!" at the top of my lungs.
When she slinks into my presence, guilt is already all over that cute, devilish puppy face. The biggest eyes on the planet stare up at me with that soulful look that has kept millions of her kind alive for centuries.
I got out the pot this time. I loaded it with boiling water. I salted it. I tore up some bay leaves. I bought a lot of chicken stock( I assume that she will taste like chicken.....)and I grabbed her by the fur. She looked at me. I crumbled like a mountain caught in an avalanche of "cute puppy face". Crap. I put away the broth for later, emptied the pot, and called a friend to help me install a new toilet.
When all was said and done, we broke the old one( thank God its an ugly mint green one that dates to the 1960's) and what did we find?
A Kong. A rubber cone shaped toy that was just small enough to fit down that old" size of a cannon ball tube" hole in the toilet. It went in when she dropped it in for a drink. It never came out. ICK! Like I was going to boil it for her. I wanted to boil her....!
So, I went thru the entire house, and the yard and got anything that was a dog toy and that could fit in the new toilet, and threw them in the dumpster.
Now, several of you are asking your selfs why I don't ban her from the house, permanently...
Well, I am weak. I love my dogs. And since I cannot bring myself to inflict children on all of you minions of there...I have dogs instead. As you know, if you read my posts, they are still better than kids. Just not Lucy. She is a kid.
And just so you know, I can't even put the damn seat down to stop her from getting into it. She has learned how to lift the freaking lid! NO, I am not kidding. So get off me. I keep the toilet extremely clean, washing it after each use. Which is a good thing, cause this morning, I caught her with her entire face stuck in the new toilet, blowing bubbles....yep. blowing bubbles.
And you wonder why I don't boil her....LOL!
By the way, the other two mules just stare in freaking horror each time she does this kind of crap. They look at me like they cannot believe I am such a sucker. But then I feed them all, and they look at me like, well, you are stupid, but you take good care of us, so were glad suckers like you are in the world.
Not that any of this makes me look good. But it's my life, and since I have to live it, you have to hear about it. So there.
Queenie. Out. Of Her Mind. Again.
To recap, I have had shoes, clothing,furniture,hats,makeup,wiring,plants and the occasional landscape edging eaten,chewed,ripped,destroyed,paraded in the yard,slobbered on, or at minimum, taken places they should never, ever go.
The newest result is a broken toilet.
One day, no problem:the next, not working! The culprit is of course....Lucy! We all know who did it long before its proven, but I like to delude myself into thinking that one of the "angel" dogs, have suddenly, in a total 180, decided to do something they have never even considered. And then I get off the Crack, and scream" Dammit Lucy!" at the top of my lungs.
When she slinks into my presence, guilt is already all over that cute, devilish puppy face. The biggest eyes on the planet stare up at me with that soulful look that has kept millions of her kind alive for centuries.
I got out the pot this time. I loaded it with boiling water. I salted it. I tore up some bay leaves. I bought a lot of chicken stock( I assume that she will taste like chicken.....)and I grabbed her by the fur. She looked at me. I crumbled like a mountain caught in an avalanche of "cute puppy face". Crap. I put away the broth for later, emptied the pot, and called a friend to help me install a new toilet.
When all was said and done, we broke the old one( thank God its an ugly mint green one that dates to the 1960's) and what did we find?
A Kong. A rubber cone shaped toy that was just small enough to fit down that old" size of a cannon ball tube" hole in the toilet. It went in when she dropped it in for a drink. It never came out. ICK! Like I was going to boil it for her. I wanted to boil her....!
So, I went thru the entire house, and the yard and got anything that was a dog toy and that could fit in the new toilet, and threw them in the dumpster.
Now, several of you are asking your selfs why I don't ban her from the house, permanently...
Well, I am weak. I love my dogs. And since I cannot bring myself to inflict children on all of you minions of there...I have dogs instead. As you know, if you read my posts, they are still better than kids. Just not Lucy. She is a kid.
And just so you know, I can't even put the damn seat down to stop her from getting into it. She has learned how to lift the freaking lid! NO, I am not kidding. So get off me. I keep the toilet extremely clean, washing it after each use. Which is a good thing, cause this morning, I caught her with her entire face stuck in the new toilet, blowing bubbles....yep. blowing bubbles.
And you wonder why I don't boil her....LOL!
By the way, the other two mules just stare in freaking horror each time she does this kind of crap. They look at me like they cannot believe I am such a sucker. But then I feed them all, and they look at me like, well, you are stupid, but you take good care of us, so were glad suckers like you are in the world.
Not that any of this makes me look good. But it's my life, and since I have to live it, you have to hear about it. So there.
Queenie. Out. Of Her Mind. Again.
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