Your Secret's and Chocolate are Safe With Me!

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Kids or Dogs. Which is better? Probably neither, but in my humble opinion, I would rather have the dogs.


They never come to you in a mini skirt cut to there and high heels telling you they are dating the worst boy in the county.

They never ask you for money, and then leave you wondering what they spent it on.

They never come to you and announce, " I am pregnant, and I don't know who by....." Crap!

They don't keep you up all nite wondering where the hell they are, and with who?

They don't ask you how to have sex, or where babies come from. They just have em. End of story. And they don't make you keep them, you can send them off to shelter, give them away, or even sell them for money!

They don't smoke( except Lucy keeps trying...don't ask...!) and they don't drink anything they shouldn't except toilet water, and well, they are dogs. So you get over that...

If they bring home a stray, you can
A. Shoot it.
B. Call the Cops( okay, you can do this with Kids too, but its so much more paperwork..and you have to deal with the kids parents...)
C. Make loud ridiculous noises to scare it off( sorta like the shotgun/dads thing...but less illegal..so its nice...
D. In reference to A you can hide the body much easier than a boy....or girl for the men out there that still want us to believe we are desperate enough to follow you home...lol

Dogs don't go thru your fridge and eat all the "good stuff" before you can horde it for yourself in the middle of the nite, alone, in the dark with that feral look in you eye, just waiting for someone to catch you and mess with your chocolate stash....bastards...oh. But I digress........

They don't require a new outfit by the ticking of the second hand on the clock...they just want some food, some love, and a piece of whatever it is you happen to be eating....

Dogs don't grow up and hate you cause you didn't let them drink, screw, go to prom, so and so's party, or because you forced them to eat broccoli. They just love you for you. All the time. Even at three am when you look like a steamroller hit you on its way back from hell, and you are mysteriously covered in chocolate that you ate in bed and rolled onto with your face during the nite...

Dogs don't care if you are fat,if you run around naked, or what you wear. If you forget to feed them, they are okay with leftovers an hour late, and you don't have to hear them whine about how you burnt it...

Dogs don't tell you that you are ruining their lives...they don't grow up and challenge your political views, or your need for chocolate. They would help you eat even more of it if you let them....which of course, you can't, cause its bad for them.....Why have kids when you can have a dog that can't eat chocolate, loves you unconditionally, and won't tell people all your secrets....if only they could get jobs and make money....I wouldn't even be married.....


So here's to Lucy, Maggie, and Goldie. May the Lord bless them, and may they never learn to talk......


Queenie.Out.

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