MERCIFUL CRAP!

No more of the nectar of life for this Queen! I made the fatal error for a woman, and stepped onto a tell you how FAT you are contraption. Holy Shit! Right now I am the size of a small country....America! I can hear the pig holler now....Suweeeeeeeee!!!!!!

Time to put the fork down, I am on a diet. Run like hell now, cause you know this ain't gonna be purty. The mules took one look at my new "Rations" and hightailed it outta here like I was thinkin they were lean, and plannin to eat them. Stupid Mules, Fat Mules!

OKAY. Here is what I need. Intervention. No body better offer me any sweets. Even Chocolate.(insert wild weepin'and wailin' here!) You know I will cave, eat the whole isle of it in the Going to get shit store, and then I'll be so FAT my Hubby will strap my wide-load ass to the Wagon and haul me up and down the lane until my bra snaps, my pants give out and the spandex shoots someones freakin eye out. Then that person will sue, and I aint got enough money to spell poor, much less bitch about it. Get Off ME!

Dinosaurs are big Boned! Quit shovelin that crap into my pie hole and I will probably drop a Girdle size in about a week. If not, I am strappin myself to the wagon and haulin my own butt into traffic.

For the next several posts, I would read this crap with caution. You never know what a hungry, insane person might say when they are deprived of the nectar of life. I may just have to kill something. Lucy, come here baby........!!!

Well, I am off to consume some cardboard, and wash it down with some water. Lady, you better not tempt this one nut short of a tree with Beer. I know where you live and I'll take extreme measures.

Back off people. I'm Homicidal and armed with Fat. I am more dangerous than a Big Boobed Woman in a Wet T shirt contest. Watch yer eyes!

Queenie. Porky, and Dealin' With It.
Don't screw with Me!

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