Appreciation

Isn't it interesting, when you really stop, look at your life and examine it closely,you can truly understand why the people that are closest to you are there?

My Father was an amazing person. He taught me all the things a girl should know. How to stand up for myself, not to cry in front of people, how to be strong and when to walk away from something stupid that I can't fix. He showed me what a Man should be; Strong, Funny, Smart as Hell and Charming as all get out! He sang " Bridge Over Troubled Waters" by Simon and Garfunkel when I was small, and it remains one of my favorite songs. He hugged me a lot, and screamed at me when I scared the shit out of him, which,I was very good at! He taught me about respect, discipline, consequences and responsibility. He taught me love for nature and appreciation for others. He taught me values and honor, hard work and integrity.

He spent time with me because he wanted to, even when He had better things to do, or it was something he was doing that I didn't like, understand or even enjoy. He provided security for us, and despite being a Huge Man, he was a gentle giant. Thanks Daddy, for teaching me what kind of man I should wait for.

My Mother was a Gift. Though I didn't always understand her, or even like her, I loved her deeply and respected her immensely. She taught me love. How to love, how to give, how to cry in front of people and be ok with it. She shared her heart and taught me to share mine even when it hurt, or it went unappreciated. She sang to me when I was small and rubbed my back and taught me how to comfort others and care without reservation. She taught me how hard it is to let go of love, and how to laugh through tears and pain. She molded my heart and strengthened my backbone so that I could survive this life. Thank you Mama,for Loving me, even when it was hard.

My Brother is a beam of bright Joy in my life. He teaches me how to pronounce shit correctly and how not to sound like an ass. Which I do anyway...not his fault. Get Off Me!
He shares his hopes with me, encourages my cracked out fantasies and shakes his head in disbelief and frustration when he knows I can't see him, or thinks I'm not looking. He tells people great things about me, even when they aren't that great. He loves me! Which is a miracle as we damn near killed each other as children! He is my closest friend, deepest confidant,and most trusted ally. He teaches me how I want to be, think and act. He sets an example of kindness and generosity that I would like to emulate in my own life. He treats women in a manner that melts my heart and swells my soul with pride and respect. He shows me how I would like all my female friends to be treated. He proves that manners, charm, chivalry and good breeding NEVER go out of style or go unappreciated by those who matter.I love you best Bud!

My Friends, who know who they are. They offer me laughter, comfort, joy, forgiveness and advice. They put up with my mood swings and warped nature. They laugh at my jokes and help me eat chocolate and stir things up. They offer comfort and support. They listen when it all falls apart and goes down the drain. They care more than I can believe and more than I ever expected anyone outside my immediate family to care...Thank you for that. They teach me how to open up, and let the crazy that is inside me loose. And they continue to come back for more of it! Who's Crazy!!??

My Mules. They are my heart. They make me hurt with love, cry with laughter and matter so much it is unimaginable to think of life without them. They each hold a place in my soul for all eternity. Without them, I would not be who I am.

My life has been hard. Not the hardest of any who have ever lived, or even as hard as I think it may yet be, but hard nonetheless. Each person who has come into my life has impacted it in some way. Some have taught me what not to be, and how not to behave. Others have been shinning examples of what I should aspire to be. Some I have survived, others I have cried over and wished never to have met.

Without the pain of pebbles underfoot, how would we know the journey was worth it? Without the bad to balance the good, how would be know when happiness and joy were achieved? If every step was easy, what would I have learned, and how could I continue to grow?

My journey continues with the knowledge that I have not met all the worthwhile people that will be a part of my life, but with sincere gratitude for those who have already been a part of it, and those that continue to be. I am Blessed.


Queenie. Headed Forward.