Popcorn Fallout

The End is Near! The End is Near! Well, its 2012, and November so I suppose, as they have surely said for the last several hundred years, the end is near. December 21 is supposed to be the beginning of the end. I am in no way, shape or form ready for this. And its only several weeks away. I am going to die.

I do not say this to make you sad. I say this to inform you. When the shit hits the fan and people are running amok lootin', killin' and plunderin' all manner of societies in this nation, rest assured I am already screwed. Lemme 'splain.

A friend of mine put it to me that those who live in a populated area, and yes, while Wyoming is not that populated there is an actual city here, and I have neighbors that can come at me from every direction, are going to be in deep shit. He surmised my demise this way," you cannot defend your home,food,family, or in your case, your mules, in a populated area. Everyone will come at you from all sides and you will be among the first to die. Those who are in the country, the mountains and more rural will stand the best chances of surviving.". Aside from thinking, "What an Asshole!" I kinda got his point.

I have a little rental house in the middle of a neighborhood, near the center of our little town. I am not hidden, I am not well protected. I may as well fly a flag that says," Come all who loot, pillage and defile, for I am Female, have food and Mules and Am Screwed!". A little much to have on a flag, but true nonetheless. Sigh.

So I have decided to hide my food. I will begin with beans and rice. I will take each bean, and each grain of rice and stash it away somewhere in my little Rental house. Under the couch, in the walls,under the floorboards, deep in the potted plant. Perhaps the yard even. I will stick them down the cracks and cranny's of this house in an effort to hoard food, and keep it hidden from the merciless. Maybe even a few Twinkies stuffed in the dryer vent will survive a thorough search? Hmm.

Eventually, I will run out of bullets, gun cleaner, light, heat, food and safety. Then I will morph into my Super Hero Ego...Rations!

This is where I will trade my body for protection, food and safety for the mules and I. Or, I will be left alone, and die from starvation anyway and Lucy will get bored and decide to eat my carcass. Either way, I will miss you all, and hope you fare better than I.

I suppose I could try to become a legend by hoarding popcorn kernels and secreting them within the confines of my home and then at the crucial moment, when death from looters or starvation or cold is near I could set fire to the house and become known as The Giant Jiffy Pop house that that Crazy Queenie Lived In. There is some merit in that at least. I would be Infamous!!!!

Not to mention, its kinda hilarious. And as My Friend said, "Stop laughing at my Master Plan!"

Queenie. You Want Butter With That?


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