Friend Reminders

The older I get, the more I am forced to bite my tongue( which, ya'll know is nearly impossible for me, as shuttin' up is not a function my mouth subscribes too..) with my friends.

Now,first. I have an amazingly eclectic bunch of friends, well ok, it's a menagerie, and I love each one of them. Hence, why I bite my tongue. We all started out friends when we were in our early twenties( which means we each knew zilch about life, love, politics and being fat! LOL!) and we bonded in our arrogance and desperation to have someone, anyone else affirm we were right and the rest of the world was utterly wrong.


Now of course, I am no where near the same person, and my ideals, beliefs and tolerance( of which I had little then, except for mules and those of their ilk) have undergone demolishing, reworking, and ultimately, reconstruction.

A hard fact of life, and one my Parents tried( bless them, to no avail) to teach me growing up was that the people I cherished then, were not going to have a place in my life as I grew up; older and wiser. How come that always holds true, and what is it about youth that makes us arrogant, stupid, vain, selfish know- it- alls' that cannot learn from others with more experience, and certainly more wisdom? Hmmm...

Anyway, I digress....GET OFF ME!

I would not say that I am political, but rather, that I have an interest in knowing just how I, and my loved ones are about to be screwed out of rights, money, land, possessions and ultimately; Freedoms. Hence, I read the news, watch the Media Whores and keep beady, focused eyes on the issues facing our nation, and our increasingly global economy and lives. So I am depressed a lot, and pissed off continuously. LOL!

As for some of my Friends, there is nothing more heart-wrenching than realizing that while I have grown, changed, and fostered tolerance in many areas that I was close to being a fanatic about, they seem to stagnate in the murky depths of la la land and refuse to change, or even admit, there could be room for change, revision, or even tolerance on any issue.

Because the word tolerance is,in part,defined as: "a willingness to recognize and respect the beliefs or practices of others" that is what I am doing by biting my tongue, even when I want to jump up and down, rant and rave about how they are, while not wrong, at least mis-informed, and narrow minded.

Havin' Friends is a job. You are much like a parent would say rasin' kids is like today, you must be: a Doctor, Psychiatrist, a Teacher, a Student, a Manager, a Good Listener, a butt-kicker, devils advocate,a coach and the cheerleader. Since this is true, I try to introduce new ways of thinking, new angles on issues, and different points of view( not always my own) so that they can see the other side of an issue. Facts are always part of the package in dealing with people's ideals, as the world we live in today is ripe with mis-information, manufactured reality, and just plain lying.

The pay-off, if you want to call it that, comes when they stretch their minds, step out of any kind of box, and see, however briefly, a new angle on an old, much debated issue. Then you can dance around with chocolate on your face and hug them wildly while praisin' them for budgin', even a millimeter, on an issue. Whoo Hoo!

Along with biting my tongue, I try to always remind myself:

Friendship is hard to find, and while you may not realize this at the time you are ready to cut them to the quick for how they think, act and believe; they are your friends, which means you choose them for yourself, and ultimately, they are a reflection of, if not who you are now, who you once were, and they deserve more than your anger, frustration and disgust. They Deserve your Tolerance, Trust, and Respect. Take it from me- It ain't easy to change and it's even harder to admit you may be wrong.


Queenie- work in progress...updating...