The Great Ration Raid!

I rolled over, checked my chocolate stash, wiped the drool off my face, woke the hell up and realized I have been away from my minions far too long! WTF? Why dont you people send a smoke signal and let a poor mental patient know she has been starin' off in space for months? That how people become stalkers, sicko's and fruitcakes, you know. Sheesh. Help a girl out for cryin' out loud!!

On to Business. What the hell is with the friggin' arctic blast here latley? MY MULES are Stuck to the damn Wagon! Seriously. I strolled out into the pasture, and there they were, starin' at me like this was my idea of a joke. I assured them it was not, and proceeded to find some way to get Goldie's tail outta the air, and Lucy's nose outta her butt! Crazy Mules. MY Butt has been sub arctic for about a month, but I digress. I like winter just fine, but tryin' to get the mules goin in this kind of frigidness is more than this one woman amazon can handle. I would rather stay in bed and eat chocolate while swillin' liquid chocolate, along with some chocolate cookies......ooops, there I go again.......!

But eventually, you run outta the sweet nectar of life and you gotta go for rations. Chocolate store, here we come! So I thawed out the Mules, de-iced the wagon, put on all the damn clothes I own, and went to town. It nearly wasn't worth it. I had just pulled into oncoming when I heard this God Awful racket comin' from the Wagon bearin' down on me. One of those fancy sissy horns that are all the rage these days.....about crapped my clothes, and when you got all you own on, that ain't prety, let me tell ya!!
So there I was, soiled, shiverin' and the Mules were quakin' in there polar booties and snazzy over-coats, Lucy licked her eyeball and it got stuck. Stupid Mule. I had to de-ice her, and then we got outta traffic....We hit the store( not literally, missed it by inches..hehe) and went in to stockpile.

Now I know yer not s'possed to horde food, but....NIRVANA! A SALE ON CHOCOLATE..HOW COULD YOU GO WRONG??!! I horded. Don't, for Gods Sake tell on me...you woulda done the same, and ya know it!!

So, as I strolled up to the Counter, and was about to lurch out with my loot, I got a ringy-dingy from The Lady. She was outta Beer. See, it gets cold and you gotta re-load yer survival gear. Just the way it goes. I looted her some bottles, and began to stroll out. Home free with the basics in life! (insert insane laugh here....)
I hot footed it across the lot, neared the Wagon, and disaster struck. My foot hit the Ice. I went down like a two-bit drunk on buy one get one nite. SPLAT!!!

There I was folks. The mules are laughin, which I hope makes their faces freeze like that; people are starin', and more importantly, chocolate is smeared, and not near my face!! I Cussed. Yep. Loud and long. Get off me! My Ass was a hurtin, and my nose was a runnin, and to top it all off, I cussed at the mules, and they careened off down the road headed for who the hell knows where. Friggin' Mules!

Well, I did the only thing I could. I got up, I pretended nothing happend, and I stuffed a box of chocolate into my mouth, my pants, and any free pocket, and I strolled off like it was nothing unusual to see a woman as tall as me, wearing two tons of clothes, and packin more goodies than some entire countries have people, walkin down the road in sub-arctic temperatures cussin like a Marine( Get off ME. I am married to one...can't use Sailor!)stinkin' of beer and extolling the ways in which I was going to exact revenge on Mules. I went home. I stayed there. The Lady can come get her Rations herself. I am done till Spring. I put my feet up, iced down my Butt(cold dammit!) and decided that winter is for the Mules.

Okay. I plotted revenge on the mules too, but that is another story.


Stay Warm, and GET OFF ME!

Queenie. OFF HER MEDS!