GET OFF ME

Well Hell! If'n I weren't a day late and several million dollars short, you'd wonder if the mules and I were hibernatin'. Its the Two year anniversary of my Blog( as of Sunday, GET OFF ME!) and I wanted to let ya'll know jest how much fun me, the mules, and the whole cast of characters have had with this contraption! It's almost as good as Free Chocolate! Don't worry, there's plenty more craziness and insanity where all this came from, and we will be sure to share it with the 4 people who acually read this crap! LOL! Lucy, Goldie, The Lady, Hubby, and the Wagon are gearing up for a terrific summer of debauchery, booze, and who knows? We may even lose some weight, and do some exercising. If not, we don't want to hear a peep from none of you about it. I have a strict moral code about these things. If I don't do it, I can pretend I did....and that works for me. So there! Thanks for readin all about us, and keepin up with the nuthouse. By this time n...

Hello my Minions! The weather is warm, the sun is shining, and I wouldn't put on a bathing suit, a pair of shorts, or even a tank top if my life depended on it. I have rolls that rival a Mountian range, and I am not okay with public displays of "gross mommy, look at that!" So here I am, safley covered, and fixin' to work out. Again. I have discovered that I need lots of help. I have a theory about fat loss. Einstein proved that matter cannot be destroyed, and therefore, no matter how much you sweat your ass off, feel the freakin burn, or suck in that which was not there a few years ago, once it "leaves" your ass, it goes into the air. Open the back door, and it goes out onto the porch. Lying in wait. Spying on you...and since you have to leave the house at some point, due to lack of Chocolate rations, WHAM! There it is, it sees you and it suctions itself right back onto your ass. It's a disgusting fact. I Call this the "You are never going to have t...

Well the Lady is tryin' her hand at cyber dating...which is turnin' out to be Physco datin' and it seems that the entire U.S of A is interested in datin' her. Not that we who know her are surprised. If I looked like her, I could end world hunger, bring peace to the middle east, and get all geeks, nerds, and shy men laid. But that is another story. MY FREAKIN' EYE has decided to puke onto my face, and in light of this occurence, I have begun wearing what I like to call, a mask. This way small children, innocent pets, and others are not driven from wherever I wander screamin and shit like that. Frankly, its embarrasin', not to mention, they usually point. So GET OFF ME. Its not contagious, jest ugly as a mud fence in high humidity. So there! In other news, I have to go out and drink. I must. Even tho I am on a diet. Even tho my ass protests. My mind is a corruptible thing, and I lost it years ago anyhow. GET OFF ME!!! The Mules are in quarantine. Well, Lucy is any...

I woke up, wiped the drool off my face, did all the "necessary" get up and get movin' crap,stumbled into the kitchen, made tea, and poured myself some cardboard flakes with colored water, scratched, and turned on the news. dammit! Why do I even bother with listenin' to this drivel? Another day in Queenie's world. I gotta fire up the wagon, poke at the mules and head out for gettin' some crap errands. I hate that. Not to mention its 10 freakin degrees outside and my eyeballs are so cold they wont weep. I have three days off that are all mine. Days that I can either be productive, or miser the time alone in bed, readin', watchin' the boob tube, or sleepin' until the hubby comes home and then pretend I did something....but, it seems people are determined to hang out with me and drag me out somewhere. I like people, properly seasoned, but sometimes, you just want to hike the covers up higher, and sleep in your own drool! GET OFF ME! My mama raised me t...

I rolled over, checked my chocolate stash, wiped the drool off my face, woke the hell up and realized I have been away from my minions far too long! WTF? Why dont you people send a smoke signal and let a poor mental patient know she has been starin' off in space for months? That how people become stalkers, sicko's and fruitcakes, you know. Sheesh. Help a girl out for cryin' out loud!! On to Business. What the hell is with the friggin' arctic blast here latley? MY MULES are Stuck to the damn Wagon! Seriously. I strolled out into the pasture, and there they were, starin' at me like this was my idea of a joke. I assured them it was not, and proceeded to find some way to get Goldie's tail outta the air, and Lucy's nose outta her butt! Crazy Mules. MY Butt has been sub arctic for about a month, but I digress. I like winter just fine, but tryin' to get the mules goin in this kind of frigidness is more than this one woman amazon can handle. I would rather stay ...

Well hold everythin'! Whoa Nellie,Bullah and Gert! Guess who's sellin ad's on the rad-e oh? Queenie of Course! I lubed up the wagon, put on my go to meetin' duds and went fer an interviewin'. I managed NOT to hurt the mules in the process of jiggin' after they gave me the gig. Boy, was I excited! Okay, really I was scared spitless, but I hid it well. Get Off Me! So here I go...out into the world of sellin air!LOL... I should do great. Nothin' like sellin that which is not there...I do that evry' day on this here site. Insert insane laugh here! SO! As to yer burnin' question's about iffin' I'm gonna acually be on the radio...give it time....the Lady an' I are plottin' and schemin' on that idea. Look out....Her laugh meets my hijinks and the world will never be the same...but that's pretty much what were after here. Changin' the world one "GET OFF ME!" at a time.... Well, gotta load up and head fer the Cabin....

Queenie roared up in her wagon, loaded with rations and gunning for Lil Bit. Its His Birthday! I had cards to pass out, cake to eat and Yee haws to belt out. It was a crack fest. But what else did you expect? LOL Lil Bit turned the big 3! He was crabby as a bag of sour apples with the anticipation of his party, and I was bitchy with the need for chocolate. We made quite a pair. Get OFF Me! The Lady planned a shindig none were soon to forget. We had treats to eat, and cool aide to drink. We got tanked. On sugar. That little boy had enough loot to sink four ships. I was jealous. So was the Hubby. It was his birthday too, and if you asked Lil Bit, he was turning 3 also.! I giggled at that until I wet myself! Imagine, my Hubby passing for any younger than Christ. What a hoot!! We ate cake, laughed at the rip and tear fest that was opening prezzies, and helped put together the stuff we bought. WTF were we thinking? Buying assembly required sh-- for that kid? We regretted it by nite fall w...