GET OFF ME

In the continuing saga of puppy ownership, reason number four hundred and two billion why NOT to allow them into the house has cropped up. They will break whatever they can. To recap, I have had shoes, clothing,furniture,hats,makeup,wiring,plants and the occasional landscape edging eaten,chewed,ripped,destroyed,paraded in the yard,slobbered on, or at minimum, taken places they should never, ever go. The newest result is a broken toilet. One day, no problem:the next, not working! The culprit is of course....Lucy! We all know who did it long before its proven, but I like to delude myself into thinking that one of the "angel" dogs, have suddenly, in a total 180, decided to do something they have never even considered. And then I get off the Crack, and scream" Dammit Lucy!" at the top of my lungs. When she slinks into my presence, guilt is already all over that cute, devilish puppy face. The biggest eyes on the planet stare up at me with that soulful look that has kept ...

Kids or Dogs. Which is better? Probably neither, but in my humble opinion, I would rather have the dogs. They never come to you in a mini skirt cut to there and high heels telling you they are dating the worst boy in the county. They never ask you for money, and then leave you wondering what they spent it on. They never come to you and announce, " I am pregnant, and I don't know who by....." Crap! They don't keep you up all nite wondering where the hell they are, and with who? They don't ask you how to have sex, or where babies come from. They just have em. End of story. And they don't make you keep them, you can send them off to shelter, give them away, or even sell them for money! They don't smoke( except Lucy keeps trying...don't ask...!) and they don't drink anything they shouldn't except toilet water, and well, they are dogs. So you get over that... If they bring home a stray, you can A. Shoot it. B. Call the Cops( okay, you can do this wi...

The Lady My Mother once asked me what I thought the definition of a Lady was. I thought for a few minutes, and then replied, "YOU". She laughed, clearly delighted, yet with obvious puzzlement. I explained that day to Her what I meant, and today, I am going to share it with all of you. A Lady is someone who does what she must: To Care for... To Comfort... To Achieve... To Put at Ease... To Impress... To Express... To all who cross her Path. A Lady is someone of Grace and Beauty that shines upon all who see and know her. A Lady is Loyal, Steadfast, and True. She has honor, spirit, Humor and Joy. A lady cares more about the comfort of others, and settles for mere tolerance for herself. She stands by while others shine, She is the gentle breeze that allows others to Soar. She is the iron will inside her children, that gives us the fortitude to stand and deliver, or lay down and surrender with dignity and grace. Franchesca was a consummate Lady. The Finest representation I have e...

You know you are living in the 21st century when you own a cell phone, and use it everyday. Admit it...you do! If you are like me,( and who doesn't want to be?!) you have contact lists that number in the hundreds.( okay, fifty, but I was going for drama dammit!) You most likely use your recent call lists to dial up your friends because their names are usually there from previous calls, and you not only don't have to dial in their number, but you can just scroll down and hit send on their name.( Are we a lazy bunch of techno-losers or what?!) This is an everyday habit for me. I rarely have to go "looking" for any of my closest friends numbers, as they pop up readily available from my last " Had to call you for ten seconds, and chat about nothing,well something, I mean its me, so its always entertaining if not always about world hunger, peace or the moral decay of society; but here you are, in my phone and totally accesable, so I called you" phone call. The...

Quiet time. I sit here at the end of a long day, filled with happiness, memories and cheer. Had my family close and near. Cooked a feast, ate too much, laughed a lot, and wandered aimlessly in my thoughts. Its Christmas time and with it drawing to a close, I look around the corners of my life, peering into the dark and scary, lingering over the warm, sweet times that are worth sharing. Sometimes life clips along like gentle rolling hills. You accomplish goals, meet new people and generally enjoy the journey. This year, I scaled the entire Rocky Mountain Range. I went to heights so close to the Stars, I could bask in their warmth. I went to such lows, I could feel the bleak,the dark and scary unknown. This year brought me closer to my Brother, in ways I never expected. It brought sadness so deep, there is no well deep enough to fill, and fear so sharp, no blade could compare. There was joy so intense that words cannot describe, and an ache that will never,never subside. Its been one hel...

There is a song out, called " As good Once As I Ever Was" Its by Toby Keith. Its a good song, but it doesn't even come close to my life. I was never good once, so how I ask, can I be as good once as I ever was, if I never was good once? Confused? Me too. I am a sassy, mouthy( and yes, it gets me into trouble occasionally) Woman, that just dosen't give a shit what ppl think in the first place, so I have this tendency to say what I think, when I think it. Get Off Me, being a case in point. I have really low blood pressure because of this, so I am healthy due to this fact of my nature. I married a man 25 years and one Month my senior. Some of you out ther wonder why, and some of you are wemon, and you have met my husband, and you don't have to wonder, you know. Now, if you are reading this drivel on a regular basis( you know you are, how could you get by with out your Queenie fix!) then you know that I recently turned thirty. Therefore, if you are not a prodigy...

Camping is one of the things you do for your peice of mind. It allows you to commune with nature, live a simpler life, if even for a few days, and still bring all the "can't live without items" with you. Queenie loaded up the wagon with enough items to see her thru a month of camping, made sure all the bases were covered for the next three days, grabbed several friends, and rolled out at the crack of early into the great open spaces. What the hell was I thinking?! The wagon rolled down the path without any problems. Lucy was given drugs to ensure that no retching occurred while traveling, and plenty of rations were around for the two hour trip to the camp site. We had the wheeler, and the Camper and plenty of back-up. We did not pay close enough attention to the forecast. LOL The first sign of trouble occurred just 2 miles from the site. Lucy puked. Poor dog. She was doing so well, and then, fate intervened. Luckily, I had planned for just such a circumstance. Had towel...