GET OFF ME

Well Hell! If'n I weren't a day late and several million dollars short, you'd wonder if the mules and I were hibernatin'. Its the Two year anniversary of my Blog( as of Sunday, GET OFF ME!) and I wanted to let ya'll know jest how much fun me, the mules, and the whole cast of characters have had with this contraption! It's almost as good as Free Chocolate! Don't worry, there's plenty more craziness and insanity where all this came from, and we will be sure to share it with the 4 people who acually read this crap! LOL! Lucy, Goldie, The Lady, Hubby, and the Wagon are gearing up for a terrific summer of debauchery, booze, and who knows? We may even lose some weight, and do some exercising. If not, we don't want to hear a peep from none of you about it. I have a strict moral code about these things. If I don't do it, I can pretend I did....and that works for me. So there! Thanks for readin all about us, and keepin up with the nuthouse. By this time n...

Hello my Minions! The weather is warm, the sun is shining, and I wouldn't put on a bathing suit, a pair of shorts, or even a tank top if my life depended on it. I have rolls that rival a Mountian range, and I am not okay with public displays of "gross mommy, look at that!" So here I am, safley covered, and fixin' to work out. Again. I have discovered that I need lots of help. I have a theory about fat loss. Einstein proved that matter cannot be destroyed, and therefore, no matter how much you sweat your ass off, feel the freakin burn, or suck in that which was not there a few years ago, once it "leaves" your ass, it goes into the air. Open the back door, and it goes out onto the porch. Lying in wait. Spying on you...and since you have to leave the house at some point, due to lack of Chocolate rations, WHAM! There it is, it sees you and it suctions itself right back onto your ass. It's a disgusting fact. I Call this the "You are never going to have t...

Well the Lady is tryin' her hand at cyber dating...which is turnin' out to be Physco datin' and it seems that the entire U.S of A is interested in datin' her. Not that we who know her are surprised. If I looked like her, I could end world hunger, bring peace to the middle east, and get all geeks, nerds, and shy men laid. But that is another story. MY FREAKIN' EYE has decided to puke onto my face, and in light of this occurence, I have begun wearing what I like to call, a mask. This way small children, innocent pets, and others are not driven from wherever I wander screamin and shit like that. Frankly, its embarrasin', not to mention, they usually point. So GET OFF ME. Its not contagious, jest ugly as a mud fence in high humidity. So there! In other news, I have to go out and drink. I must. Even tho I am on a diet. Even tho my ass protests. My mind is a corruptible thing, and I lost it years ago anyhow. GET OFF ME!!! The Mules are in quarantine. Well, Lucy is any...